I counted to 1000 once. There was a stop watch and a tape recorder. It took about twenty minutes. A little less.
Tension built all the way through the 900s, my “one thousand” looming larger with every passing numeral. I imagined how delicious it was going to taste as I said it and how discomfiting it was going to sound in the tinny little tape-deck speakers when I played it back later, it was gonna be the best “one thousand” ever, the only one I’d ever actually earned, and here it comes I’m grinning so hard it hurts “nine-hunnerd-ninety-eight … nine-hunnerd-ninety-nine … one hunnerd!
“No wait…! One thousand!! A thousand! … Aww, damn. Aww, Christ, turn that thing off.”
I hope the guy counting to a million finishes better than I did.