Aphorisms

Chocolate Covered Peeps

March 29, 2010
By LHP

Chocolate Covered Peeps are turning up everywhere (google ‘em) and I just want to point out that CCPs have been a tradition hereabouts for about a decade. I’m a terrible monetizer.
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Travel Tips From Tokyo

May 14, 2006
By LHP

A few things to note: 1) Tokyo smells like North Carolina. Everybody smokes. 2) Pedestrian traffic flows on the left, just like street traffic. 3) Cyclists who ride on the sidewalks expect pedestrians, even those from distant lands, to understand item #2. 4) On escalators, standers stand on the left, walkers walk on the...
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Don’t Need This.

October 17, 2005
By LHP

Want it anyway. And my birthday is coming up.
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Homesick, a Little

June 9, 2005
By LHP

Also, please do not bring any alcohol to the final.
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Got Much Think?

November 13, 2004
By LHP

From here, a doo-dad that ranks words according to their commonality. “Got Much Think” are 100, 101, 102, respectively, in the ranking. I figure I’ve got just enough think to “produce various understandings” (625, 626, 627, (with a little license)).
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Labor Day’s Come and Gone

September 7, 2004
By LHP

Put away your white pants and your vodka tonics.
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Another Business Proposition

March 16, 2004
By LHP

Many cellas come with cameras, which I don’t want or need, but few (none?) come with transistor radios, which would be very handy indeed.
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A Business Opportunity

March 11, 2004
By LHP

The recent news regarding pilfered cadavers at UCLA and elsewhere indicates there’s a large and growing market for dead people. Given the apparently healthy demand, the inventor of the most lifelike synthetic cadavers is guaranteed to make a killing.
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What’s Creepy?

February 27, 2004
By LHP

Teeny, tiny robots powered by bits of rat heart-muscle tissue, that’s what.
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Too Slow

February 25, 2004
By LHP

Will February never end? This has got to be the longest February in recent memory.
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