illth.org » Aphorisms http://www.illth.org impedimentia Wed, 24 Aug 2011 23:05:09 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 G+ All the President’s Facepalms Summary http://www.illth.org/2011/08/24/g-all-the-presidents-facepalms-summary/ http://www.illth.org/2011/08/24/g-all-the-presidents-facepalms-summary/#comments Wed, 24 Aug 2011 23:05:09 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/?p=346

Warren G Harding: "You had better."

Over at G+ I’ve been collecting photographs of all the president’s facepalms. Yesterday’s discovery of a suitable candidate for Woodrow Wilson wrapped up all of the 20th and 21st Century presidents.

G+ doesn’t include robust text formatting or link listing tools, so here’s the roster, with links back to the relevant G+ post:

20th Century

  1. Theodore Roosevelt Note: Not a true Facepalm. Just TR being TR. Bonus TR #1. Bonus TR Caption Contest. Bonus TR Gallery.
  2. William Howard Taft
  3. Woodrow Wilson Note: Not a true Woodrow Wilson. Just a professional facsimile.
  4. Warren G. Harding Finger pointing Bonus.
  5. Calvin Coolidge Note: Not a true Facepalm. Just Old Cal in his Indian Chief get-up.
  6. Herbert Hoover
  7. Franklin D. Roosevelt Note: Not a true Facepalm. Just an old guy looking at a globe. A big globe.
  8. Harry S. Truman Note: Not a true Faceplam. Just Harry S and a bunch of Greek generals shaking hands over a globe.
  9. Dwight D. Eisenhower Helen Keller Bonus.
  10. John F. Kennedy
  11. Lyndon B. Johnson Bonus #1. Bonus #2.
  12. Richard M. Nixon
  13. Gerald R. Ford
  14. James Carter
  15. Ronald Reagan
  16. George H. W. Bush Note: Not a true Facepalm. Just evidence of the Crack Epidemic.
  17. William J. Clinton Note: Not a true Facepalm. Just Slick Willy giggling about something.

21st Century

  1. George W. Bush
  2. Barack Obama Note: The Facepalm that started them all!
]]> http://www.illth.org/2011/08/24/g-all-the-presidents-facepalms-summary/feed/ 0 Chocolate Covered Peeps http://www.illth.org/2010/03/29/chocolate-covered-peeps/ http://www.illth.org/2010/03/29/chocolate-covered-peeps/#comments Tue, 30 Mar 2010 02:12:44 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/2010/03/29/chocolate-covered-peeps/ Chocolate Covered Peeps are turning up everywhere (google ‘em) and I just want to point out that CCPs have been a tradition hereabouts for about a decade.

I’m a terrible monetizer.

]]> http://www.illth.org/2010/03/29/chocolate-covered-peeps/feed/ 0 Travel Tips From Tokyo http://www.illth.org/2006/05/14/travel-tips-from-tokyo/ http://www.illth.org/2006/05/14/travel-tips-from-tokyo/#comments Mon, 15 May 2006 00:42:04 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/wordpress/2006/05/14/travel-tips-from-tokyo/ A few things to note:
1) Tokyo smells like North Carolina. Everybody smokes.
2) Pedestrian traffic flows on the left, just like street traffic.
3) Cyclists who ride on the sidewalks expect pedestrians, even those from distant lands, to understand item #2.
4) On escalators, standers stand on the left, walkers walk on the right. Don’ be a stander where the walkers want to walk.
5) Japanese food is hard to find. So far we’ve eaten Korean, Mexican, Japanese-Korean Fusion, fresh French croissants, and ham and cheese sandwiches. Tonight we stay at a ryokan, which is a kind of super-traditional bed and breakfast, so we are sure to to eating strictly Japanese.
6) There are a lot of people here. They are everywhere. And all of them smoke.
Final note. We bought a camera, and a hotel room with reliable net access. Look for photos in the coming days.

]]> http://www.illth.org/2006/05/14/travel-tips-from-tokyo/feed/ 0 Don’t Need This. http://www.illth.org/2005/10/17/dont-need-this/ http://www.illth.org/2005/10/17/dont-need-this/#comments Mon, 17 Oct 2005 22:24:30 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/wordpress/2005/10/17/dont-need-this/ Want it anyway. And my birthday is coming up.

]]> http://www.illth.org/2005/10/17/dont-need-this/feed/ 0 Homesick, a Little http://www.illth.org/2005/06/09/homesick-a-little/ http://www.illth.org/2005/06/09/homesick-a-little/#comments Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:31:37 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/wordpress/2005/06/09/homesick-a-little/ Also, please do not bring any alcohol to the final.

]]> http://www.illth.org/2005/06/09/homesick-a-little/feed/ 0 Got Much Think? http://www.illth.org/2004/11/13/got-much-think/ http://www.illth.org/2004/11/13/got-much-think/#comments Sat, 13 Nov 2004 17:46:53 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/wordpress/2004/11/13/got-much-think/ From here, a doo-dad that ranks words according to their commonality.
“Got Much Think” are 100, 101, 102, respectively, in the ranking.
I figure I’ve got just enough think to “produce various understandings” (625, 626, 627, (with a little license)).

]]> http://www.illth.org/2004/11/13/got-much-think/feed/ 0 Labor Day’s Come and Gone http://www.illth.org/2004/09/07/labor-days-come-and-gone/ http://www.illth.org/2004/09/07/labor-days-come-and-gone/#comments Tue, 07 Sep 2004 16:30:22 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/wordpress/2004/09/07/labor-days-come-and-gone/ Put away your white pants and your vodka tonics.

]]> http://www.illth.org/2004/09/07/labor-days-come-and-gone/feed/ 0 Another Business Proposition http://www.illth.org/2004/03/16/another-business-proposition/ http://www.illth.org/2004/03/16/another-business-proposition/#comments Tue, 16 Mar 2004 15:46:17 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/wordpress/2004/03/16/another-business-proposition/ Many cellas come with cameras, which I don’t want or need, but few (none?) come with transistor radios, which would be very handy indeed.

]]> http://www.illth.org/2004/03/16/another-business-proposition/feed/ 0 A Business Opportunity http://www.illth.org/2004/03/11/a-business-opportunity/ http://www.illth.org/2004/03/11/a-business-opportunity/#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2004 16:44:13 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/wordpress/2004/03/11/a-business-opportunity/ The recent news regarding pilfered cadavers at UCLA and elsewhere indicates there’s a large and growing market for dead people.
Given the apparently healthy demand, the inventor of the most lifelike synthetic cadavers is guaranteed to make a killing.

]]> http://www.illth.org/2004/03/11/a-business-opportunity/feed/ 0 What’s Creepy? http://www.illth.org/2004/02/27/whats-creepy/ http://www.illth.org/2004/02/27/whats-creepy/#comments Fri, 27 Feb 2004 18:18:07 +0000 LHP http://www.illth.org/wordpress/2004/02/27/whats-creepy/ Teeny, tiny robots powered by bits of rat heart-muscle tissue, that’s what.

]]> http://www.illth.org/2004/02/27/whats-creepy/feed/ 0