Homesick, a Little

June 9, 2005
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Also, please do not bring any alcohol to the final.

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An Opening Re-do

May 25, 2005
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Lefty leaned away from the rail. He pulled several feet of hose aboard. He pulled until he could pull no more. He pressed against his knees, which were wedged into the lower rail, and lurched forward and snatched a few more yards of hose and wrenched himself backward again. The hose was slippery and...

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Ghosts

February 25, 2005
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When I returned from my morning run today, LMA’s hair dryer was whirring on its shelf in the bathroom. Nobody was home while I was out. I figure it slipped from its usual perch, and in the slipping, the switch tripped. That must be what happened. Alternate theories are too gruesome to consider.

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Mac Mini

January 19, 2005
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If Apple made the new Mac Minis a little minier, PC owners could stuff them into their spare drive bays. (Mac Mini: 2″x6.5″x6.5″. PC drive bay: 1.75″x5.75″x5.75″)

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Caution, Flammable

December 3, 2004
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FDA study finds perchlorate (rocket fuel) in nation’s milk, lettuce. I suggest that this rocket fuel diet is propelling the elevated rates of hyperactivity seen lately among the nation’s children. On the bright side, this development suggests that the era of cheap spaceflight, available to everyman, is within reach. So close, in fact, we...

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A for the Day

December 2, 2004
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I’m teaching figures of speech this week and I asked my students to finish some incomplete sentences to make metaphors. Unfinished sentence number one was “The moon is ….” The quiet student in the back wrote, “The moon is a mouse’s dream.” He got an A for the day.

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